5. The mother is highly dependent on her son for validation and self-worth. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. Other times, sons may be mean to their mothers because they are going through a tough time in their own lives and take it out on the people closest to them. 5 Reasons Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Signs Of An Unhealthy Mother-Son Relationship, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. But it happens, and happens for a number of reasons. Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. But what happens when a mother is mistreated by her son? Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is when the son feels like he cant express himself freely to his mother. Again, this will lead to resentment, negatively affecting their relationship. Their mothers try to control them too much. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. It also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when needed. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. In this article, well talk about some of the most common problems that arise in mother-son relationships, as well as some ways you can help your family stay healthy and strong. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. What does this constant meddling say about sons who hate their mothers? When a mother starts to make her son feel guilty for doing things without her. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. The reasons for this are manifold, but often include a lack of understanding or empathy on the part of the son and a lack of communication between the generations.eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_7',168,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_8',168,'0','1']));.medrectangle-3-multi-168{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Your email address will not be published. And sometimes the reason can seem inexplicable. Here are some types of dysfunctional mother-son relationships: The Oedipal mother-son relationship is one in which the son perceives his mother as a sexual rival. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. 1. They want to be perfect in their eyes. This is the most obvious sign that a mother-son relationship is unhealthy. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. 2. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. But unless he continues. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. The son ends up resenting this behavior and his mother. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. In todays society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. When he feels comfortable talking with you about the things that matter to him, hell be more likely to open up about other things, toolike when something might be bothering him or if something is going on at school. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'littleninjaparenting_com-box-4','ezslot_3',149,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-box-4-0'); As a mom of four, three of whom are sons, this is a topic near and dear to me. It is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees in support of this site by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. A mother who crosses boundaries will inevitably have a son who will grow up to cut off contact with her. A 15-year-old boy brings home his school report. If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. Pointing out the opposite is the most effective method of curing selfishness. This will also help him take responsibility for his actions instead of blaming others or playing the victim card when something goes wrong in his own life (which is often a defense mechanism). An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. It might not be easy, but its important to remember that he needs your support and parental guidance more than he does being judged and having things held against him. If your mom seems lonelylike she doesnt have any friends or interests outside of youthat could be a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? This is not healthy. Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or he's going through some issues. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. I have identified five types of difficult mother: controlling, angry, narcissistic, envious and emotionally unavailable though most difficult mothers may display all traits to a greater or. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Tell him what he did and why it was the right thing to do. Mothers Should Not Judge Their Sons Too Much. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. 0. Whatever the reason, its also important to remember that the relationship between mother and son is very complex. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. Its important to talk to him about his past experiences and help him process them in a healthy way. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. Please love your mother too. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! This will also teach him how to make good choices and give him confidence in his abilities as well as his independence from you. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. If you think this is the reason your son is treating you badly, its important to take a step back and reassess how you interact with your son, and make sure youre not smothering him or overstepping boundaries. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. Though traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood. A son may feel like his mother doesnt trust him and that she thinks hes incompetent. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. (Source: Healthline). Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. 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