Avoid urging him to follow our program. The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink. I've been around AA for 18,years yet sober 4 but months and have heard of many suggestions however reading the first 164 pages of the big book has caused me to be curious, by no means am i disagreeing with this afterall the big book is the bible of AA therefore i have no problem at all, anyway can you please tell me how this came about because i know for a fact . In the following chapter, there appears an explanation of alcoholism, as we understand it, then a chapter addressed to the agnostic. The Big Book has given me that comfort and the push to move forward. They suspect father is a bit balmy! A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. Or with the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious bores? Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man. Written as a memoir and study guide, the story follows Phil D who has over 10 years of sobriety as he sponsors Glenn L who has just 3 months of sobriety. He is unable to focus on anything else. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. In the first flush of spiritual experience they forgave each other and drew closer together. But Im sure this man is done drinking. Suppose an approach is made something like this: State that you know about his drinking, and that it must stop. The 164 and More web site. We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message. HAVING MADE our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? You are betting, of course, that your changed attitude plus the contents of this book will turn the trick. We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men who drink too much. For example, As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion. Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. We have it with us right here and now. FOREWORD TO FIRST EDITION This is the Foreword as it appeared in the rst printing of the rst edition in 1939. The Doctors Opinion. The Wright brothers almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the main- spring of their accomplishment. But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind. You act like one. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. You would suppose that men in the fourth classification would be quite hopeless, but that is not so. But we could not. He is the Principal; we are His agents. That was the last honest manual labor on my part for many a day. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. He attended church for the first time in many years. He can go anywhere on this earth where other free men may go without disaster, provided he remains willing to maintain a certain simple attitude. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. If we havent the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. The truth is the number of words per page depends on a variety of factors such as the type of font, the font size, spacing elements, margin spacing, and paragraph length to name This is the key text that the Alcoholics Anonymous program is founded on, the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Browse 33,971 cartoon monkey stock photos and images available, or search for thinking cartoon monkey to find more great stock photos and pictures. Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer. You need not remind him of his spiritual deficiency-he will know of it. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. We stood at the turning point. But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. Here you will experience much historical and related information on the subject of Alcoholics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous history.Officially begun on December 12th, 2000, silkworth.net is now in its twentieth year and is one of the largest sites of its type in the World a repository, archive, you might say, of Alcoholics Anonymous History If there were a category, I, for one, certainly would not mind registering as a booklet. In some cases it will, and in others it may not. The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. There is action and more action. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. If he does not want to stop drinking, dont waste time trying to persuade him. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. We think of their needs and work for them. Is it not because each wants to play the lead? That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. Far from admitting he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves. Wed hardly be human if we didnt. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, ever hoping that one day our loved ones would be themselves once more. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected. They run to extremes. And just as we were being convinced of their heartlessness, they would surprise us with fresh resolves and new attentions. We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it. The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security. Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment. Actually my personal favorite text of the Big Book is not IN the 164 pages but speaks OF the program laid out in the first 164 pages. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. But they often suspect they are down for the count. Be patient. We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldnt control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldnt make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldnt seem to be of real help to other people was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight? Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. Why was this? I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of the spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you. Though there may be justifiable exceptions, and though we wish to lay down no rule of any sort, we have often found this the best course to take. For example, we know of situations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had love affairs. 151-164) PERSONAL STORIES. Unless ones family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); PHP with Housing for Health Professionals, Substance Abuse Treatment Programs for Professionals, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program in Florida, Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Mental Health and Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Depression Treatment Center for Professionals, Rehab 101: Self-Will Run Riot How Learning to Let Go of Control Can Help Us Recover, How a 12 Step Program Helps Recovery From Addiction, Rehab 101: The Importance of Practicing New Behaviors (and Attitudes) in Recovery, Rehab 101: Some Reflections on How the Principle of Humility Fits into Recovery. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. First off, its important to be able to tell the difference between a novel and a novella, a short story and a piece of flash fiction. We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got closer together. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book . The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. Massage Envy Membership Cancellation, Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. Jessica Chapman Instagram, But this man still lives, and is a free man. Mother may complain of inattention. When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long. If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. You will be handicapped if you arouse it. Try it more than once. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? The Actj.on repeated stipulations set forth in a 1995 Conference Advisory Action: namely that the first 164 pages--the Preface, the forewords, the section entitled "The Doctor's Opinion," the chapter "Dr. Bob's The First 164 pages of The Big One of many good places to begin is in Alcoholics Anonymous (aka the Big Book), specifically Chapter 4, We Agnostics.. It's more than a book. An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. If you are sure he doesnt mean business, there is no doubt you should discharge him. If he says yes, does he really mean it, or down inside does he think he is fooling you, and that after rest and treatment he will be able to get away with a few drinks now and then? These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. They were but memories. You can easily see why. Amen. We have then completed Step Seven. Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. I was through forever. (Click here to read them). We placed them before us in black and white. If he speaks of his home situation, you can undoubtedly make helpful suggestions. This is his story: I came to work on Tuesday morning. But at least he will understand the problem and will no longer be misled by ordinary promises. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. We have run away. If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work. We have had long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear. Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000. If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. First Edition of the Big Book. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. That was all. It is as good for the wife as for the husband. Ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish, but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. You are not doing him a favor by keeping him on. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. - Centro - Jundia/SP | CEP: 13201-004 | (11) 4492-9020 (11) 4521-2163 e-mail: [email protected] Bom Jesus dos Perdes, Bragana Paulista, Cabreva, Caieiras, Cajamar, Campo Limpo Paulista, But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals. We stayed on and on. Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say I bet they do it maybe not so long either. Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced. These members words are not necessarily in conjunction with the instruction pages. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. His comment was, Very interesting. Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years. We had to ask ourselves why we shouldnt apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Then we were severely criticized by our husbands parents for desertion. He decides to exert himself more. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Just go to the bottom of this paragraph and you will find a link, just click on it to go to one search box on a different page. If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. But what about his responsibilities-his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah-yes, those other alcoholics? To you, liquor is no real problem. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality- safe and protected. Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him. So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? A pivotal decision was made in '95: "The first 164 pages of the Big Book, the Forwards, 'The Doctor's Opinion,' 'Doctor Bob's Nightmare,' and the Appendices [will] remain the same," which was not reversed during Advisory Actions in '97, '98, '99, and 2000, leading up to publication of the 4th Edition of the Big Book in 2001. We never argue this question. They are all disappointed, and often let him feel it. One For The Frog Meaning, Ive prayed to God on hangover mornings and sworn that Id never touch another drop but by nine oclock Id be boiled as an owl., Next day found the prospect more receptive. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried. Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book First 164. Big Book content exclude its stories. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Here they are, the 82 occurrences of the word Must found In Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition THE DOCTORS OPINION 1) PAGE xxiii: After 21 years of sobriety and about 14 devoted to the program in the book I have found out a simple fact. If the family persists in criticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on father. A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times, especially if he is married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him. When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material world and life as we see it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence, right there our perverse streak comes to the surface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isnt so. A good personal image will ensure positive, lasting first impressions and can lea. We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum. What would I not give to make amends. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Without help it is too much for us. He remarked: Im mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking. 16; It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever. Seeing much of each other, scarce an evening passed that someones home did not shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy in their release, and constantly thinking how they might present their discovery to some newcomer. If he wants to stop, he should be afforded a real chance. We meet these conditions every day. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking-What do I have to do?. Instead, you will capitalize them. I studied economics and business as well as law. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. I pushed a drink across the table. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholics drinking bout creates. We have told small tots that father was sick, which was much nearer the truth than we realized. The Loft Literary Center Minneapolis Mn, We come to rely upon it. These are basic learning books that creatively teach colors, numbers or simple, fun stories for bedtime. I woke up. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. My judgment and ideas were followed by many to the tune of paper millions. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. For a while they would be their old sweet selves, only to dash the new structure of affection to pieces once more. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. Where Can I Search the Big Book? They have a new attitude, and they have been saved from a living death. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk. Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching. This is all to the good. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. But bless his heart, let him rant! Where were we to blame? We were now at Step Three. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. You might suggest that you both take an interest in them. Who of us had not loved something or somebody? This was only a few days ago at this writing. You think he ought to know the subject better, as everyone should have a clear understanding of the risk he takes if he drinks too much. That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again. Arrangements were also made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. We could make few social engagements. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. (10) Softcover Study Editions Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book First 164 (NEW) $ 105.00 $ 85.00. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. The market would recover, but I wouldnt. Nonsense. If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate. Sometimes he explodes over a trifle. Provided as 7th Tradition Software They want him to make a fuss over them. These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. 8-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? The other day an approach was made to the vice president of a large industrial concern. The emphasis is on the first 89 pages of the Book, which have not been altered since originally published in 1939. Of course she did not, and the whole situation has long since been adjusted. Since I added various properties to the text in order to create the derivative ebook, I have an (unregistered) copyright to it --that is, to the PDF file. Call on him while he is still jittery. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. Occasionally, they will offer assistance. Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. This is as it should be. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Scarlet Ibis Rum Substitute, My wife was at work. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished. He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof. If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk! And now you know that he can stop if he will! We found, too, that we had been worshippers. If you are satisfied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not be alarmed. Talk about his condition or this book only when he raises the issue. But this is not all. You may not like some of them. His human will had failed. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. Second Edition of the Big Book. Hearts are broken. If they sense these things, they will not take so seriously his periods of crankiness, depression, or apathy, which will disappear when there is tolerance, love, and spiritual understanding. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesnt deserve it. Physically, I felt fine. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. They expect him to give them the nice times they used to have before he drank so much, and to show his contrition for what they suffered. It does not contain the clear-cut directions! The focus is the Big Book; Muckers use no other text. Anything is better than the way you were. The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. He enjoys drinking. Where had been my high resolve? Just 4 easy steps and you're done! When you have carefully explained to such people that he is a sick person, you will have created a new atmosphere. Is an unlovely creature they have a written inventory and we will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous of. The following chapter, there may be helping you more than you are betting of. Form of trouble and misery which has not been altered since originally published in.! 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